Tartan Regan Clan

I was driving around Ireland, when I came upon a little fellow sitting on a stump by the side of the little one-lane, dirt road. I stopped abruptly and got out. Approaching him slowly and trying not to startle him too much, I reached my hand out and quietly said, "It's okay, I won't hurt you." He batted my hand away and spat, "I'm nah a feckin' Leprachaun, ya daft fool! I'm waiting on the bus, I'm a midget, ya filthy bastard!"